The Blue Sword CHAPTER THIRTEEN

It was two days later when, as the morning sun shone down on them, Harry first saw Istan again; and she altered their course a little to the north, for it was not the town she was aiming for, but Jack Dedham's garrison. She prayed to anything that might be listening that he would be there, not off on some diplomatic sortie or border-beating. She could not imagine trying to explain her errand to anyone else; she did not think Jack would conclude that she was mad. She did think that anyone else – even Dickie; especially Dickie – would. But even if Jack were at the fort, and believed her story, would he help her? She didn't know, and didn't dare make guesses. But she and Terim and Senay, even with Senay's father's reinforcements, would not be very effective by themselves. Rather more effective than I would have been by myself, though, she thought. The first evening, after Senay and Terim had joined her, and after the animals were settled and the other two human beings were asleep, Harry had cut herself a long straight slender branch from a tree, and stripped it with the short knife she kept in one boot. When they set out that evening she tied it lengthwise to Sungold's saddle, so it rubbed against her right leg as she rode, but at least it did not threaten either of her companions, who rode close at her sides. They eyed it, but said nothing. When she first recognized Istan looming out of the dawn light at them, she paused, took out her knife again, and deliberately ripped several inches of hem from her white tunic, unlashed her branch, and tied the raveling bit of cloth to one end of it. She tucked the other end just under one leg, and held it upright with one hand. â€Å"It is a sign that we come in peace,† she explained, a little sheepishly, to her friends; their faces cleared, and they nodded. It was still very early. The town was silent as they skirted it; nothing, not even a dog, challenged them as they rode toward the fort. Harry found herself watching out of the corners of her eyes, looking for any odd little wisps of fog that might be following them. The dogs ought to bark. She didn't see any fog. She didn't know if either of her companions was a fog-rouser; and she knew only too well that she did not know what she herself was capable of. They rode up to the closed gate of the fort, the horses' hooves making small thunks in the sandy ground, kicking up small puffs of grit; she thought of the fourposter pony, who was no doubt drowsing in his stall now, dreaming of hay. Harry looked at the fort gate in surprise; as she remembered, and she was reasonably sure that she remembered correctly, the gate was opened at dawn, with reveille, and stayed open till taps at sunset. The gate, wooden and iron-barred, in a wall of dull yellow brick, was higher than her head as she sat on Sungold, looking up; and its frame was higher yet. They rode right up to it, and no one hailed them; and they stood in front of it, at a loss, their shadows nodding bemusedly at them from the grey wood before them and Harry's little flag limp at the end of its pole. Narknon went up to the gate and sniffed it. Harry had never thought of the possibility of not being able to get inside the fort in the first place. She rode up next to the gate and hammered on it with her fist. As her flesh struck the solid barrier it sent a tingle up her arm, and a murmur of kelar at the base of her skull told her that she could walk through this wall if she had to, to pursue her purpose. In that instant she realized exactly how Corlath had stolen her from the bedroom that at present was not so far from where Sungold stood; and she understood as well that the kelar must see some use in her errand at the Outlander fort to back her so strongly; and for that she did not know whether to be glad or sorry or fearful. And if fearful, for the sake of whom? Her new people – or her old friends? And she had a quiver of wry sympathy for how the Hill-king must have felt, walking up the Residency stairs in the middle of the night; and then she tipped her head back to stare at the Outlander wall, and touched her calf to her Hill horse's side, to move him away from that wall. â€Å"Since when is this gate closed during daylight?† she shouted; and Homelander speech tasted strange in her mouth, and she wondered if she spoke the words as a Hillwoman might. With her words, the spell, whatever spell it might be, was broken; and the three Hill riders suddenly blinked, as if the sun had grown brighter; and a small panel shot back, beside the gate and above their heads; and a man's face glared down. â€Å"Where did you come from, Hillman, and what do you want of us?† He looked without pleasure at the white rag. â€Å"We came from the Hills,† Harry said, grinning, â€Å"but I am no Hillman; and we would like speech with Colonel Dedham.† The man scowled at her. She suspected that he did not like her knowing Jack's name. â€Å"He does not speak to Hillfolk – or those who ride like Hillfolk,† he added disagreeably. By now there were several faces peering over the wall at them; Harry did not recognize any of them, and found this strange, for she had known at least by sight nearly all of Dedham's men. She had not been gone for so many months that it seemed likely the entire complement of the fort could have changed. She squinted up at them, wondering if her eyes or her memory was playing her tricks. She frowned at her interlocutor's tone. â€Å"You could bear a message to him, then,† she said, trying to decide if it was worth the possibility of some kind of uproar if she said her name. â€Å"Hillfolk – † began the man at the window, and his tone was not encouraging. â€Å"Oh, Bill, for the love of God, the new orders say nothing about rudeness,† said one of the faces at the fence. â€Å"If you won't carry a message as requested, I will – and I'll be sure to mention why an off-duty man had to do it.† â€Å"Tom?† said Harry hesitantly. â€Å"Is that Tom Lloyd?† There was a tense and breathless silence, and the man at the open panel hissed something that sounded like â€Å"witchcraft.† The voice from the fence came again, slowly but clearly: â€Å"This is Tom Lloyd, but you have the advantage of me.† â€Å"True enough,† said Harry dryly, and shook back her hood and looked up at him. â€Å"We danced together, some months ago: my brother, Di – Richard, collected favors from all his tall friends to dance with his large sister.† â€Å"Harry – † said Tom, and leaned over the fence, his shoulders outlined against the light, his face and hands as pale as the desert sand. â€Å"Harry?† â€Å"Yes,† said Harry, shaken at how strange he looked to her, that she had not recognized him before he spoke. â€Å"I need to talk to Colonel Dedham. Is he here?† Harry's heart was in her mouth. â€Å"Yes, he is: reading a six-months-old newspaper from Home over a cup of coffee right now, I'd say.† Tom sounded dazed. â€Å"Bill, you wretch, open the gate. It's Harry Crewe.† Harry's legs were tight on Sungold's sides, and the big horse threw his head up and shivered. â€Å"He don't look like Harry Crewe,† Bill said suddenly. â€Å"And what about the two with him – her? And that funny-colored leopard?† â€Å"They're my friends,† said Harry angrily. â€Å"Either open the gate or at least take my message.† â€Å"I can't leave my post – another man'll have to take the word. I won't open the gate to Hillfolk. It's Hillfolk it's closed for. Tom's too easy. How do I know you're Harry Crewe? You look like a bloody Darian, and you ride like one, and you can't even talk right.† Harry's pulse began to bang in her ears. â€Å"For pity's sake – â€Å" â€Å"Not you, Tom,† said Bill; â€Å"we already know as how you're off duty. Get another man what's on.† â€Å"Don't bother,† said Harry, between her teeth; â€Å"I'll take the message myself. I know where Jack's quarters are.† She dropped her pole in the dust, and, conscious she was doing a supremely stupid thing, she brought Sungold a few more dancing steps away from the gate, turned him, and set him at it. He went up and over with a terrific heave of his hindquarters, and Harry had reason to be grateful for the perfect fit of her saddle; but once in the air he seemed to float, and look around, and he came down as lightly as a blown leaf. He trotted two steps and halted, while Harry tried to look calm and lofty and as though she had known what she was doing all the time. The leap was over in a few seconds, and no one had expected anything so incredible, even from a Hillman; now men were shouting, and there was a crowd all around her. She thought no one would shoot her out of hand, but she wasn't quite sure, so she waited, instead of going in search of Jack Dedham as she had threatened. Sungold stretched his neck out and shook himself. Narknon flowed over the gate behind them – there was a howl of fear and wrath from Bill – and the cat trotted to Sungold and crouched under his belly. But she did not have to look for Jack after all, because the row at the gate brought him at a run scant seconds after Sungold's leap. He rounded the narrow corner of some dark building opposite the place where Sungold stood. The horse lifted first one foot and then another, unaccustomed to such noisy reckless human beings, but still obedient to his rider's wishes. He replaced each foot in just the print it had left. Jack came to a halt, barely avoiding running into them. Sungold pitched his ears toward the balding grey-haired Outlander who stood now, stock still, staring: his eyes traveled from the big chestnut horse down to the laconic cat, up to the horse's rider, and his jaw visibly dropped. Harry's hood was still back on her shoulders, and her bright hair flamed in the young sunlight; he recognized her immediately, although he had never seen such an expression on her face before. A moment passed while he could think of nothing; then he strode forward with a cry of â€Å"Harry!† and raised his arms, and she, a young girl again with a young girl's face, ungracefully tumbled off her horse and into them. He thumped her on the back, as he might have one of his own men back from an impossible mission and long since given up for lost; and then he kissed her heartily on the mouth, which he would not have done to any of his own men; and Harry hugged him around the neck, and then, embarrassed, tried to back away. He held her shoulders a minute longer and stared at her; they were much of a height, and Tom Lloyd, looking wistfully on, found himself thinking that they looked very much alike, for all of the girl's yellow hair and Hill clothing; and he realized, without putting any of it into words, that the girl he had danced with months ago, and thought about as he blacked his boots, and lost sleep over when she disappeared, was gone forever. Harry drew a hasty sleeve across her eyes; and then Tom, emboldened by his commander's behavior, hugged her too, but backed away without meeting her eyes; and Harry, even preoccupied as she was, was briefly puzzled by Tom's air of farewell, and she guessed something of what her brother had never told her. The whole fort was aroused; there were dozens of men standing around staring, and asking questions of one another; some were in uniform, and some looked like they had fallen out of bed a minute before; a few carried rifles and were looking around wildly. A few of those rifles were pointed at Narknon, but the cat had sense enough not to move, or even yawn and display her dangerous-looking fangs. The Outlanders asked each other questions, and there was a lot of shrugging; but while their colonel's evident delight in their sudden Hill visitor allayed any immediate fears they might have, Harry thought they looked tense and wary, as men may who live long under some strain. â€Å"What should I ask first?† said Jack. â€Å"Why are you here? Your horse tells me where you've been these months past – God, what an animal – but I am totally awestruck by the intelligence †¦ although, come to think of it, I don't seem to be surprised. Do you know that the entire station turned out to look for you when you vanished? Although I doubt in fact that you know anything of the sort; I flatter myself I searched as painstakingly as anyone, but what the Hills take, if they mean to keep it, they keep it, and I rather thought they meant to keep you. Everyone was sure the Hillfolk did have something to do with your evaporating like that – although it was more a superstition than a rational conclusion, as nary a trace of anything did we find; no rumors in the marketplace either. Amelia, poor lady, had well-bred hysterics, and Charles chewed his mustaches ragged, and Mrs. Peterson took her girls south to Ootang. And your brother stopped talkin g to everybody, and rode three horses to death – and he takes good care of his horses, usually, or I wouldn't have him here. I don't think he even noticed when Cassie Peterson left.† Harry blushed, and looked at her feet. â€Å"So you see, he does care – you've wondered, haven't you? He wasn't too fond of his commanding officer there for the weeks that it lasted, for I couldn't somehow work up the proper horror – oh, I was worried about you, but I was also †¦ envious.† He looked at her, smiling, wondering what her reaction would be to his words, wondering if he had said the right thing, knowing that the truth was not always its own excuse; knowing that his relief at seeing her made him talk too much and too freely – a reaction that had, often enough in the past, gotten him into trouble with his superior officers. And Harry looked back at him, and she smiled too, but she remembered the vertigo of the Outlander girl alone in a camp of the Hillfolk, surrounded by a people speaking a language she could not speak, whose hopes she did not understand, whose dreams she could not share. The people of the Hills had been her own people's foes for eighty years and more, for she was born and bred a Homelander; how could Jack – even Jack – speak of envy? Her smile froze, and her tunic napped against her back and hips, for she had, somehow, lost her sash, and she had hung Gonturan from Sungold's saddle, so as to look, she hoped, a little less like immediate war. Lost her sash. A Hillman would never lose his sash. What was she? Damalur-sol. Ha. She laid a hand on Sun-gold's shoulder, but when he turned his head to touch her with his nose she was not comforted, for he had lived all his life in the Hills. She wished bitterly that her brother had told her of Tom Lloyd, months ago. That was something she might have understood, and Tom was kind and honest. She swallowed and looked at Jack again, and he saw memory shining in her eyes, and he smiled sadly at her, and was sorry for any further pain his thoughtless words had given her. â€Å"Child,† he said quietly, â€Å"choices are always hard. But do you not think yours is already made?† Harry's fingers combed through her Hill horse's mane, and she said, â€Å"There never was a choice. I ride the only way open to me, and yet often and again it seems to me I am dangerously unfit for it.† She laughed a little and shakily. â€Å"It seems to me further that it is very odd that fate should lay so careful a trail and spend so little time preparing the one that must follow it.† Jack nodded. â€Å"It is not the sort of thing that is recorded in official histories, but I believe that such thoughts have come not infrequently to others – † he smiled faintly – â€Å"ensnared as you are.† Harry's hand dropped back to her side and she smiled again. â€Å"Colonel, I shall try not to take myself too seriously.† â€Å"And I shall try not to talk too much.† They grinned at each other, and knew that they were friends, and the knowledge was a relief and a pleasure and a hope to each of them, but for different reasons. Then Jack looked her over again, as if noticing the travel stains for the first time and said in a deliberately bright tone: â€Å"You look like you could use a bath †¦ My God, that sword: you're carrying a king's ransom casually across your pommel.† â€Å"Not casually,† said Harry somberly. â€Å"Questions later,† Jack said, â€Å"but I will hope that you will answer them. First food and rest, and then you will tell me a very long story, and it has to be the true one, although I don't promise to believe it.† â€Å"I am not quite alone, † said Harry, smiling again. â€Å"Will you let two friends of mine past your formidable gate as well?† â€Å"Not so formidable,† said Colonel Dedham. â€Å"I wish I'd arrived a minute earlier and seen that jump. I don't believe it.† â€Å"It's true, sir,† said Tom. â€Å"I believe it's true, I just don't believe it,† said Jack. â€Å"No doubt all of your story will be just as impossible. And just to start with, what is that?† he said, pointing at Narknon, who still had not moved. â€Å"She's a hunting-cat, a folstza. She adopted me soon after †¦ I left here.† Narknon, deeming the moment right, stood up slowly, and opened her big green eyes to their fullest extent, batted the long golden lashes once or twice at Jack, and began to pace toward him, while he gamely held his ground. Narknon paused a step away and started to purr, and Jack laughed uncertainly; whereupon the cat took the last step and rubbed her cheek against the back of his hand. Jack, with the look of a man who throws dice with the devil, petted her and Narknon redoubled the purr. â€Å"I think I'm being courted,† said Jack. â€Å"Narknon has an excellent sense of whose side it is most expedient to be on,† said Harry. â€Å"But – â€Å" â€Å"Yes, we will let your companions come in in the traditional fashion. Unbar the gate, there, Shipson, and be quick about it, before anything else comes over it. I don't like the new standing orders, and they obviously aren't much good besides.† Jack looked up from Narknon, who was now leaning her full weight against his legs and tapping her tail against the backs of his thighs, to gaze again at Sungold. â€Å"A real Hill horse. Can they all leap over Outlander forts before breakfast?† â€Å"No. Or they may, but most of their riders have more sense than to try it. Particularly after a journey such as we've had.† The excitement of seeing Jack again, and the reassurance of the warmth of his welcome, drained away from her, and she remembered that she was exhausted, and the sense of coming home to a place that was no longer home oppressed her further. â€Å"I'd like the bath and the food, and we all have to have sleep. But most of the story will have to wait; I'll tell you what I must, but †¦ we don't have much time.† â€Å"You are here for a purpose, and I can guess some of it. I'll try not to be stupid.† The gate opened, and Terim and Senay rode quietly through and stopped by Sungold's flank and dismounted. Harry introduced them, and they bowed, touching their fingers respectfully to their foreheads, but without the last flick outward of the fingers that indicates that the one addressed is of superior rank. When she said in Hill-speech, â€Å"And this is Colonel Dedham, whose aid we are here to seek,† she was pleased with the way her Outlander friend in his turn bowed and touched his fingers to his forehead, only glancing at her with mild inquiry. â€Å"I am sorry,† said Jack as he led the way to his quarters, â€Å"but I speak only a little of your Hill tongue. I must ask you to tell me what I need to hear in my own language, and apologize to your friends for the necessary rudeness of excluding them.† This was spoken in heavily accented but perfectly adequate Hill-speech, and Terim and Senay both smiled. â€Å"We understand the need for speed and clarity, and it would not have occurred to us to take offense,† said Terim, who had a king's son's swiftness for turning a diplomatic phrase; and Senay simply nodded. So Jack Dedham cleared off the table in the second of the two small rooms that were his, the table in question accustomed to duty as a dining-table and writing-desk, as well as a convenient surface to set any indeterminate object down on; and his batman brought breakfast for three. The three ate their way through it with enthusiasm, and the man, grinning, brought second breakfasts for three. â€Å"Make it four, Ted,† said Dedham. â€Å"I'm getting hungry again.† When they were finished, and Harry was staring into her teacup and realizing with uneasy chagrin that she'd rather be drinking malak, Jack filled his pipe and began to produce thick heavy clouds of smoke that crawled around the room and nosed into the corners. â€Å"Well?† he said. â€Å"Tell me in what fashion you have come to seek my aid.† Harry said, staring at the worn tips of her Hill boots, â€Å"The Northern army will be coming through the mountains †¦ soon. Very soon. Corlath's army is camped on the plain before the wide gap – the Bledfi Gap, we call it – the Gate of the North, you know, in the Horfel Mountains – â€Å" Jack said from a cloud of smoke: â€Å"The Gambor Pass, in the Ossander range. Yes.† â€Å"We want to plug the northwest leak, the little way through the mountains above Ihistan – where an undesirable trickle of Northern soldiers could come through and – â€Å" â€Å"And raze Istan, and go on to harass Corlath.† Harry nodded. â€Å"Not just harass; there are not many Hillfolk to fight.† â€Å"That explains, no doubt,† said Jack, â€Å"why there are only three of you – and a cat with long teeth – for the northwest leak, as you call it.† Harry smiled faintly. â€Å"It was almost one of me, alone.† â€Å"I would hazard, then, that you are not precisely here under Corlath's orders.† â€Å"Not exactly.† â€Å"Does he know where you are?† Harry thought about it, and said carefully, â€Å"I did not tell him where I was going before I left.† Her ribs missed the pressure of a sash. Dedham blinked a few times, slowly, and said, â€Å"I assume I am to conclude that he will be able to guess where you've gone. And these two poor fools decided to throw their lots in with an outlaw? I am impressed.† Harry was silent for a minute. For all her brave words to Jack at the fort gate, she felt that the path she had thought she was following had blurred and then lurched underfoot as soon as Sungold had jumped the wall. It was difficult for her now to remember who she was – damalur-sol and sashless – and why she was here, and where she was going; her thoughts ambled around in her head, tired and patternless. She remembered Luthe saying to her: â€Å"It is not an enviable position, being a bridge, especially a bridge with visions†; and she thought that in fact a nice clear vivid vision would be a great boon. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. â€Å"Corlath did not take at all kindly to Sir Charles that day, did he?† Jack smiled without humor. â€Å"Not at all kindly, no.† Harry scowled. â€Å"He's still cutting off his nose to spite his face, ignoring the northwest pass.† â€Å"Ritger's Gap,† said Jack. â€Å"He probably doesn't look at it that way, though. He came to us offering an alliance of mutual support, true, but he was doing us a favor by giving us the benefit of his spies' work in the north – which Sir Charles, in his less than infinite wisdom, chose to disbelieve. I would assume that your Corlath will now simply wipe out as many Northerners as he can, and what's left of his Hillfolk in the end will retreat to those eastern mountains of his. Whether or not the western plains are overrun with unchecked Northerners is not, finally, of great interest to him one way or another. Our decision not to help only means a few more divisions of the Northern army to harry them in their Hills: unfortunate but not of the first importance.† â€Å"If the Homeland got behind the attempt to throw back the Northerners – â€Å" â€Å"There was never any chance of that, my dear, believe me,† replied Jack. â€Å"You are attempting to be logical, I suspect, and logic has little to do with government, and nothing at all to do with military administration. â€Å"You are also still thinking like a Homelander – an Outlander, if you wish – for all you've learned to ride like a Hillman,† and his eyes settled on Gonturan, hanging by her belt over the back of Harry's chair. â€Å"You know Istan is here, and it seems like a waste to you that we should be obliterated without a chance; and you were also fortunately absent that day, and did not hear Sir Charles being insufferable. Sir Charles is a good man in many ways, but new things disconcert him. The idea of an alliance between Hill and Outlander is blasphemously new.† You are also still thinking like a Homelander – an Outlander, if you wish – for all you've learned to ride like a Hillman. The words hung before Harry's eyes as if sewn on a banner and then thrust into the ground at her feet as her standard. She looked at nothing as she said, â€Å"You are working up to telling me that there is nothing that can be done.† â€Å"No; but I am working up to telling you that there is no possibility of there being done what ought to be done – I agree with you, our, or at any rate my, country should get serious about the threat from the North. It is a real threat.† He rubbed his face with his hand, and looked momentarily weary. â€Å"I am glad you have put this chance, little as it is, in my hand. My orders, of course, forbid me to go skylarking off to engage the Northerners at Ritger's Gap or anywhere else – the official, illogical attitude is that this is a tribal matter, and if we stay quietly at home with our gates closed the wave will break and flow around us. I know this is nonsense, and so do a few of the men who've been here more than a few years. I've been brooding for months – off and on since Corlath's unexpected visit; I believed what he told us that his spies had brought back from the North – whether or not it's worth my pension to go try and do anything abou t it. I rather think it is, as we're sure to be killed if we stay at home and I'd rather be killed out doing something than have my throat slit in bed. You're just the excuse I've been looking for; it's been a bit hard to determine which dragon a solitary St. George should take on, when there seem to be dragons everywhere.† Harry looked at Jack, conscious of Terim and Senay at her elbow, and a furry shoulder pressed against her feet under the table. The sense of dislocation was almost a physical thing, like a stomachache or a sore throat; but Jack's words now eased the sore place a little. The bridge could stretch to cross this chasm, perhaps, after all. She was still alone and still scared, but for the first time since she had ridden away from Corlath's camp she felt that her errand was not necessarily a mad one; and so her conviction that she was doomed to it was therefore a little less terrifying. And perhaps it did not matter in what world she belonged if both worlds were marching in step. And now that Jack believed her, she could depend on him; for Harimad-sol was still laprun, and while she was glad of Terim and Senay, they looked up to her, and she didn't entirely like the sensation. The old friendship with Jack had taught her what kind of man he was, and he would not be embarrassingly awed by Harimad-sol and her legendary sword. The literal-minded pragmatism of the Outlander psyche had its uses. But as the weight of solitude eased, his words laid a new weight on her: Were her perceptions so wrong then? Was she in fact thinking like a Homelander – and had she, then, betrayed her new allegiance? She opened the palm of her right hand, and looked at the small white scar that lay across it. What did Corlath think of her desertion? Had Luthe's fears for her been correct, and had she not been able to see the right way when the ways divided before her? â€Å"Harry.† Jack reached across the table and pulled her right hand toward him. â€Å"What is that?† She closed her fingers till what she suddenly felt was her brand of Cain disappeared. â€Å"It's a †¦ ritual I went through. I'm a king's Rider.† â€Å"Good Lord. How the – excuse me – how did you manage that? Not that I ever doubted your sterling qualities, but I know something of that tradition – king's Riders are the, um, the elite †¦ â€Å" â€Å"Yes,† said Harry. Jack only looked at her, but her mouth went dry. She swallowed and said, â€Å"They thought it would be †¦ useful †¦ to have a damalur-sol again.† â€Å"Lady Hero,† said Jack. â€Å"Yes.† She swallowed again. â€Å"Cor – Corlath said that this war had no hope, and something like – something like a damalur-sol was a little like hope. I – I have seen Lady Aerin – do you know about the Water of Sight? – and so they think I must be someone important too.† Jack studied her as a botanist might study a new plant. â€Å"Blood calls to blood, evidently. Although Richard is the straightest arrow I've ever seen: maybe it only runs from mother to daughter.† Harry brought her head up sharply and stared at her old friend. â€Å"What?† â€Å"Surely you know,† Jack said, frowning. â€Å"Your great-grandmother – mother's mother's mother – was a Hillwoman; one of rank, I believe. That was before we'd gained a proper foothold here, or we were at least still struggling to keep what we'd got. It was a terrible scandal. I don't know much about it; it makes Richard quite green even to think about it. Young Dick turns green rather easily about some things: but some curious sense of honor compelled him to tell me, as his commanding officer, so that I could make allowances if he went off screaming into the Hills of his ancestors, I suppose. The blood taint that Fate has seen fit to hand him seems to prey on his mind.† Jack had been watching her closely as he rattled on, and broke off abruptly. â€Å"My dear, you must have known of this?† Harry sat still in her chair, where she was sure she would sit forever, gazing in amazement at the story Jack had just told her. She must have looked very queer, for Terim said to her anxiously, â€Å"Harimad-sol, what is wrong? You look as if you have seen your father's ghost. Has this man said aught of ill to you?† Harry roused and shook her head, which felt thick and heavy. â€Å"No; he has just told me something that bewilders me even as it makes all plain.† Senay said softly: â€Å"Sol, might we know what it is?† Harry tried to smile. â€Å"He has said that my mother's grandmother was a Hillwoman, and thus the blood of your Hills runs in my veins.† The two looked back at her with the sort of surprise and consternation she was sure was still plain on her own face. Terim said: â€Å"But we know you must be one of us, or the king's madness would not come to you, and everyone knows that it does: already there are tales told of Harimad-sol at the laprun trials. The Water of Sight shows you things, and Lady Aerin speaks to you, and your eyes turn yellow when you are held by some strong emotion. In fact, they are yellow now.† Harry laughed: a little laugh and a weak one, but still a laugh, and she said to Jack, â€Å"My friends are not the least surprised by this intelligence, for all that it shakes me to my soul and makes my heart beat too fast – with fear or joy I am not quite sure. They say they have known me for a Hillwoman all along.† â€Å"I've no doubt that's true,† Jack said dryly. â€Å"You may be sure Corlath would have made no Outlander his Rider, even if the Lady Aerin ordered him to.† â€Å"But why was I never told?† Harry mused, still trying to collect her thoughts together in one place so that she could look at them. Perhaps she was a better-constructed bridge than she had realized; and she thought of beams and girders, and almost laughed; how Outlanderish an image that was, to be sure. And as she labeled that bit of herself Outlander she then was free to label some other bit Damarian; and she felt a little more like herself all over, as though she were fitting into her skin a little more securely. She still was not sure what she was, but at least she need not be unhappy for not knowing: and now, perhaps, she had the missing pieces she needed to begin to learn. â€Å"I think,† Jack said slowly, â€Å"that I have an idea about that. I had assumed that you did know, but I remember now how Richard and I talked about you when you were to come out here – he seemed to think it would be bad for you in a particular way – † He frowned, trying to remember clearly. â€Å"You were evidently a little too, um, bohemian for him, and he obviously thought living in the land of your grandmother's mother was going to aggravate the tendency. But I never thought he would, er †¦ â€Å" â€Å"Protect me from myself by keeping me in ignorance?† Harry smiled ruefully. â€Å"Well, I didn't know, but I'm not surprised. Angry maybe – how dare he? – but not surprised. He takes the man's responsibility toward his frail female relations very seriously, does Dickie. Drat him. Where is my inestimable brother? Here?† Jack was smiling at her, as she sat with her sword hilt touching her shoulder when she gestured. â€Å"No,† he said, â€Å"he's off being diplomatic, which is something he shows some brilliance at, for me and Sir Charles. We'd like some extra men here, just in case this silly tribal matter gets out of hand, and I would only get red and froth at the mouth, while Richard can look earnest and beseeching, and may even have some effect.† He looked gloomily at the table. â€Å"I torment myself, now and again, wondering whether, if Corlath had given us a bit more warning about what he had in mind, if Peterson and I could have brought Charles around – even a little – this mess we're in might have been, even a little, less of a mess. But it is not, as we say when we are being diplomatic, a fruitful source of inquiry.† Harry was thinking, For that matter, why didn't Mummy or Father tell me about my mysterious inheritance? They must have known, to tell my wretched brother – indeed, it must have been generally known to some extent; that explains why we were never quite the thing – I always thought it was just because we didn't give the right sort of dinner parties and spent too much time in the saddle. She went hot and cold, and her last shred of doubt about whether she had chosen wisely when she chose the Hills over the country that had raised her dissolved; but she had loved her family and her home, and she was without bitterness. She yanked her attention back as Jack began to speak again: â€Å"It's been a little anxious here lately. There is something, or there are somethings, hanging around the town and the fort; and twice my men have gone out scouting and found signs of battle; and once there was a corpse.† His face was drawn and old. â€Å"It wasn't quite human; although from a distance it would probably look human enough.† Harry said softly: â€Å"I have been told that much of the Northern army is not quite human.† Jack was silent for a little, then said: â€Å"In simple numbers I can't promise much. I don't want to risk forcibly anyone's neck but my own, as we will be going against orders, but there are a few men here I know who have the same attitude toward the Northerners that I do. I will put it to them.† Harry said, â€Å"So, how many and how quickly?† â€Å"Not very and very. Those of us who will go have been quivering like so many arrows on so many bowstrings for weeks; we'll be grateful for the chance to snap forward. Look: you and your friends can have a bath and a nap; and we should be able to march at sunset.† There had been something obscurely troubling Harry since she entered the fort so precipitously; and at first she had put it down to the confusion, to her first sight of Outlanders since she had ceased to be one herself; and the troubled reflections that this recognition had brought her. But the sense of not-quite-right, of a whiff of something unpleasant, or a vibration in the air, increased as the rest of her relaxed. She looked around her now, able to think about this specific disturbance, to focus on its cause if her kelar would point the way. She turned her head one way and another; it was much worse in the small closed space that was Jack's rooms. It was as she put her hand over the blue stone on Gonturan's hilt that she finally understood what it was. â€Å"One last thing,† she said. â€Å"Yes?† said Jack, but it took Harry a little time to put it in words. â€Å"No †¦ guns. Rifles or revolvers, or whatever it is you use. They'll only, um, go wrong.† And she shivered in the proximity of Jack's hunting-rifles hung on the wall, and two revolvers on belts hooked over the back of an unoccupied chair. Jack tapped his fingers on the table. â€Å"Not just rumors, then?† he said. Harry shook her head. â€Å"Not just rumors. It's not something I've seen, about guns – but I know. I know something of what the Hillfolk do, or are – and even if we could stop whatever it is we do, and I can't, because I usually don't know what I'm doing in the first place – I know too that, whatever it is, it will ride with those that we will be facing. And – and the presence of yours in this room,† and she waved her hand, while the other one still rested on the blue gem, â€Å"is making me feel †¦ edgy. It's the sort of thing I'm learning to pay attention to.† The room was suddenly smaller and darker than it had been before Harry spoke; Jack stared at her, seeing his young friend and seeing almost clearly the outline of the thing she had taken on in the Hills; and then an unexpected ray of sunlight fell through the window and the blue gem of her sword hilt blazed up as her hand slipped away from it, and her cheek and hair were lit blue. But the outline of her burden was gone. Jack thought, I am going to follow this child, to my death perhaps, but I am going to follow her, and be proud of the opportunity. â€Å"Very well. I believe you. It's rather pleasant to have one's favorite old-wives'-tales borne out as truth. You'll not want infantry anyway; and our cavalry is accustomed to its sabers.† â€Å"Now, about that bath?† Harry said. Ted was told to provide the baths and beds required; she and Senay were led to Jack's bathroom first, and Harry sank gratefully into the water in the tall tin tub, sliding down till the water closed over her face and she looked up at a wavering circular world. She had to come up at last to breathe, and the world opened out again. Senay unbraided and combed her long dark hair, which fell past her knees in well-ordered waves; Harry watched with envy. Her own hair was nearly so long, but it liked escaping whatever it was put into, and bits were always getting caught in things and snapped off; so while Senay's hair smoothly framed her face and smoothly twisted into a knot at the nape of her neck, Harry always had unrepentant tendrils launching themselves in all directions. Senay bound her sleek mane up again as Harry climbed, dripping, out of the tub. Senay slipped into the water with her own grateful sigh, and Harry put on the oversized ni ghtshirt Ted had laid out for her and stumbled into Jack's bedroom, where two cots had been set up by the bed. Narknon finished investigating all the corners of Jack's rooms, while Jack and Ted eyed her warily, soon after Harry finished her bath; but when the cat tried to squeeze herself next to her sol on the bed, Harry was so deeply asleep already that she refused to make room and Narknon, with a discontented yowl, had to sleep humped over her feet.